KyleGoen.com

“How do I begin to develop new relationships with lost people, when I don’t have time for the relationships I have already?” This is a good question and a hard one at the same time.

I think you have to begin with another question, “Are the relationships that I have today about what God wants or what I want?” Another question might be asked, “Do I view the relationships I have the way God sees them?” I think these two questions are two of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. God has placed us in a neighborhood, at a workplace, and in relationships that he desires us to cultivate for His glory and His causes.

God has placed me in my neighborhood not just so I can have a roof over my head, but also to reach-out to the people I live around. When my kids are going to the soccer field for practice, I can either sit in the car, in my own little world or I can meet new people and over the course of a season develop a new relationship for the cause of Christ. While I am at work I can view my job as my field of ministry, where He has placed me not just for a paycheck or to accomplish some big new idea, but to develop relationships in such a way that He can influence the work environment. My task is not just widgets but relationships that glorify His name and His purposes.

The task isn’t just soccer practice, but relationships at the soccer field for His glory. The goal isn’t just the next big project at work, but relationships that influence people toward Christ. The task is important, but it isn’t the end goal. Influencing people for the sake of Christ is the end, the task is the means.

When we begin to view our present relationships the way God views them and we begin to handle them the way God desires everything else will begin to take care of itself. This may seem a little simplistic, but I don’t think God is trying to make it difficult. You see, He has already placed us in relationships where we can begin to live out a life of “investing” and until we do that with our present relationships and circles of influence we shouldn’t look for new ones. He may bring someone new into your life, but first we need to be faithful where He has placed us as His followers.

I am more convinced than ever that praying is the first essential for reaching out and developing new relationships with people. I have begun asking God to give me a love and a desire to reach out to the people I live around. He has been so faithful to do what I have asked Him to do through this simple little prayer. I have recently started seeing my neighbors in a whole new way. They aren’t just people who live on my street anymore, but people who I need to get to know because Jesus loves them and wants them to know His father.

 I asked my small group last night to hold me accountable to reaching out in new relationships this year. How are you going to reach your neighbors, whether it is literally on you street or at your workplace? Begin to pray and ask God for a new desire and for courage to reach your neighbors and your community for His namesake.

Today Amy and I celebrate sixteen years of marriage.

I had no idea on that Saturday afternoon sixteen years ago how wonderful the next years were going to be. There have been arguments and different ideas about how things ought to be done along the way but we always worked through them. I am so blessed by the Father to have been given the gift of Amy.

She is one of the funniest people I know. We are constantly laughing at something that has happened of something that one of us saidor done during that day. Our home is a home where laughter and fun live. She has a unique ability to keep things light when it needs to be light.

Amy is a wonderful friend. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without her as my wife and companion. We love to go places together and talk and if there is an opportunity for us to get away and be alone we always take it, because there is no one we would rather be with than each other.

God has blessed us in so many ways: 3 wonderful kids, a great church, excellent in-laws, great home, kickin’ church, friends that love us just like we are, a school that challenges our kids, the opportunity to take family vacations, and so many other things too numerous to name in this little space.

Thank you God for blessing me with Amy. Thank you Amy for loving me and for whipping me into shape.

I love you.

When I here the word “model” I often go to images of overly thin young girls walking down a runway wearing clothes that no one I know will ever wear. In fact, I don’t ever recall seeing anything from a Milan or New York “Fashion Week” being worn by the general public.

My mind also thinks about the model planes and cars I would try and put together as a little boy. I never quite finished those models as a child, I would become too impatient and give up. On the few times I did complete one of those little “gems” I would look around to see too many “extra” pieces laying in the box. I still struggle with this today when putting things together for my family.

I forget that I model attitudes and behaviors each day to my family, friends, the staff I serve and the church members I lead. Modeling is always happening. People are always watching what we do, they may not be examining our lives and actions intentionally but they are watching. How we live as husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, parents and friends makes a huge impact on those we are in  contact with each day.

Let me illustrate this for you. Tim, the Dir. of Global Initiatives for our church, just returned from South Asia. He had lead a training trip to visit some of the partners we have in that area of the world. During one of the visits to a local house church the group was welcomed and invited to sit and talk. As they were sitting the host asked the group to remove their shoes while in the local house, this is a common practice in the eastern world because of sanitation. The local host also asked the group to remove their socks, now this is not a custom of the people. Feet are dirty and a very private part of the body in this culture and the group began to wonder why they were asked to remove their socks.

In a few moments a group of men returned with basins of water and began to wash the feet of the guest. This stunned Tim and the local partner, this is a very unusual act for the locals. Where had they seen this or learned of this practice? Washing someone else’s feet is unheard of in this culture.

A few months prior to Tim’s visit, another team from our church had been with this same local mission partner for a training event with 25-30 church planters. We were teaching leadership principles and stories from the Bible and one of the stories we taught about was Jesus’ last night with Hs disciples when He washed thier feet and modeled servant-hood to them. Afterwards He commanded them to serve one another as He had served them. Our team taught the lesson about servant-hood and then modeled this story and the practice to the group of pastors, it  was a very emotional illustration of scripture. The time together was also a great worship opportunity and also a time of bonding between cultures. To our knowledge and that of the local partner, this was the first time this group of pastors had been taught this particular Bible passage and had experienced a picture of servant-hood.

After the expereince that Tim and the local church planter had on this trip they began to ask about why they had washed the feet of this visiting team? The local house church leaders told of learning this from the training that was modeled for them a few months earlier and they began to use it as a way of demonstrating worship and servanthood to their local congregation. WOW!

Talk about the power of modeling. The training team never expected that little lesson to be anything other than a training on servant-hood, and now it was being utilized as a way to worship and train others in servant-hood. The power of modeling is strong. Remember that you are modeling behaviors and actions that will influence others and could be possibly be traced back to you.

I have been reading lately about how to reach out more in my neighborhood. I know that Pat and Eddie are tremendous at reaching into their neighborhoods and finding ways to connect to the community. I will be honest with you, that is difficult for me sometimes. It is so easy to work hard during the day, go home and close the garage door and stay behind the closed blinds of our homes.

I want my neighbors to know the Christ I know, but often times I fail at connecting with them in a relationship where they can actually experience Christ. I have really been convicted in the last several months about developing relationships with the people who live on my street. I know very few of the people on my street by name, so how can I invest into someone if I don’t even know their name. I am beginning to develop relationships in my neighborhood so I can invest in them for the cause of Christ. By the way, if they never come to Christ I am still going to be their friend. We should love them even if they never come to Christ, just like Jesus would.

Maybe you are in the same situation, you want to develop a friendship but find life is way too busy or your too tired. Well, I have made a commitment to change.

The audio for the conference I attended at Union University is available to listen to here. Ed Stetzer’s talk is one that I highly recommend. Ed is the Missiologist for NAMB.

Yesterday was a long day of listening to people talk about the identity of baptist and what it might look like in the coming years. The day also held discussions about problems within the SBC, evangelism, cooperation, and problems within associations of churches, and state conventions. Each person had different topics to address and then the attenders could ask questions. The question and answer period was the best part of each address in my opinion.

Mike Day, an associational missionary from the Mid-South Baptist Assoc. spoke on the changing roles of associations and state conventions. He was probably the most provacative speaker of the day. He listed several “pridicaments” that associations, state, and national conventions face today and why they are dying. I will list them for you with a short explanation.

1) Duplicated Effort Syndrome (assoc./state/national)
2) The Institution First Syndrome (feed the beast)
3) The Autonomous Hierarchy Syndrome (churches are independent but many times act in submission to the national offices– the church is the top, but often is relegated to the bottom)
4) The Codified Cooperation Syndrome (continued defining of cooperation/drawing lines continue)
5) The Thinly Spread Mission Dollar Syndrome
6) The Lost Influence Syndrome (SBC Denom. and the church)

He went on the give what he saw as a coming trend in the next years;

Paradigm for the future of associations and conventions
1) Church Driven (starts with the church)
2) Priority Based (priorities from the church – Church plants, Missions, leadership development)
3) Resource focused (no programs to maintain, or organization to maintain)
4) Institution free (does not own anything, no camps, schools)
5) Strategically managed (missionary and staff are catalytic – demographics, help with staff resource)
6) Regionally located, not geographically bound –(counties and cities are not necessary – 100 largest cities or something like it)
7) Denominationally connected (may not rely on state conventions – combined entity – assoc and state conventions will morph into one)

It has been a pretty good day over all. There has been much to think about and evaluate in light of the topics that were covered.

I am leaving in a few hours for a conference in Jackson, TN. The sessions will be at Union University for the next two days.

As I look out the windows of my home it looks cold, but there is definitely no snow to be found. Which begs the question; “Why are my kids at home right now?” School has been delayed for two hours due to some crazy reason. Oh well, I get be with my wife and kids a little longer. I bet the people who are living in Smyrna from the “northern reaches” of our wonderful country are getting a good laugh at calling off school for these types of conditions.

I think I see sun peaking out and I hear birds singing, I need to just relax and enjoy it

Well, I shared this with the staff a couple of weeks ago and I guess now is as good a time as any to share it with you. No, I am not about to reveal some long hidden alternative lifestyle. Ease up!

I am feeling led to start a “community garden”. I know it sounds crazy; at least it does to me. I have always been good at killing plants, chopping down trees and whacking out bushes, but me trying to actually grow something that is edible is another story altogether.

I have been asking God to give me a creative way to reach out to my neighbors and the marginalized in a unique way where I could show His love to others. No strings attached, I just want to give and care because He gave and He cared. I began feeling, thinking, and praying about this dumb idea that would not go away. I tried for a few weeks not to blame God for these crazy thoughts that kept running through my mind about a “raised bed vegetable garden”. Where was this idea coming from and how did it get in my head? Had we been watching too much HGTV or “Outdoor Landscapes”? The more I thought and prayed, the more the Lord confirmed to me that I needed to seriously move on this thing.

I told Amy what I was thinking and she didn’t fall over laughing, so I inched out a little more. I told Rodney K. and he had actually built a planter and raised “crops” last year. So, I ventured out and told the staff in a meeting a couple of weeks back, and here I am going public today. This is going to get interesting and funny. I will keep you posted.

Over the last several weeks I have been listening to different teachers from around the U.S. who speak and preach in churches. I usually listen while I am exercising, which happens to be walking. Some of these people you will recognize and others may be new to you. I agree with some of what they say and I also disagree with some of what the say, but I learn much in the process and then must formulate what I believe.  I am indebted to some of these guys. Throughout the years their influence on my teaching and life have made me who I am. Here is a sample of who I have been listening to over the last several weeks.

John Piper
RC Sproul
Mark Driscoll
Matt Chandler
Erwin McManus
Rob Bell