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10 Commandments for Parents

February 3, 2012 in Family, Influence with 2 Comments

  1. You will love your spouse
  2. You will tell your children “I love you.” each day.
  3. You will take care of yourself physically.
  4. You will take vacations with your children each year. (any size vacation will work)
  5. You will celebrate birthdays each year for each child.
  6. You will create and maintain family traditions.
  7. You will teach your children responsibility.
  8. You will teach your children to appropriately handle money.
  9. You will laugh with your children at least once a day.
  10. You will have dinner together as a family.

I created these for a class I just finished. We have tried to implement these “commandments” in our own family throughout our years of parenting.

Yes!!! I have broken my own commandments many times. But, these “commandments” have helped to keep me pointed in a direction with parenting of my own kids. I want so much to be a better parent for my children. They deserve it.

 

 

Get Out of Your House

December 22, 2011 in Influence, Leadership, missional with 4 Comments

I enjoy my family and my personal space.

I really like relaxing at home and just closing the door to the world. I like to turn on the television, have a nice glass of iced tea and let the evening go by without thinking. This type of relaxing works for me after having conversations, solving problems and dealing with the work-a-day stuff we all face.

But, in the realm of developing relationships with those who we live near it STINKS.

How can we get to know others when we close our curtains, shut the doors and absorb the television or computer for hours at a time? There are relationships that need to be built all around us. Each of us have been given a level of influence in our workplace and the places we live that can only be enhanced or grown by spending time with people outside of “expected” or “programmed” time together.

Inviting people into our personal lives is time-consuming, it can be energy draining for some people and it’s risky to be vulnerable in relationship.

But, developing relationships is also life-giving, exciting and worth while to our life. We were created to have relationships and influence with others. If we hide from these opportunities we are the ones who lose out on what we were created for in this life.

What new relationships are you building?

Who are the people you are investing time with each week a way from work?

English Conversation Group

August 1, 2011 in Influence, missional, Sending Church with 2 Comments

We are beginning a service opportunity in the next few weeks around English conversation group. It isn’t new or original with us in Brussels. In fact we are taking over for a group who is no longer to lead out because of new commitments. The concept is being utilized in various countries around the world today by many different groups. There are several organizations in Brussels who are already hosting something similar, but we think it vital to serving students to help them in learning to converse in English.

Most school age children and university students learn English as an academic exercise but do not have a way to practice conversing in English. We are hosting directed conversation English groups for 8-10 people during the university semester. We have been learning form people in Brussels and a neighboring city how to lead the groups. We are very excited and anxious to begin.

Last week we hosted a team of students from the United States (Texas specifically) who helped us promote the conversation groups on several university campuses in the Brussels area. We divided into teams and walked the campuses in search of places to hang posters. We soon began to see people seek information from an email address we established.

As of today we have received 18 request for information and several are desiring to get involved in the English conversation groups. The groups are the beginning of us establishing a consistent service opportunity for the university population on these campuses. We are hopeful we can establish great connections and relationships with university students in the coming semesters.

Thank you to the team from Rockwall, Texas who came and gave lots of energy during the week.

 

Let’s Meetup

July 26, 2011 in church planting, Influence, missional, Sending Church with 8 Comments

My family has lived in our city for almost eight (8) months. When we moved here we were wanting to meet new people and be intentional about meeting people who may not have heard the Gospel or may not have a relationship with someone who knows Jesus. We had been told it was very difficult to break into relationships in this city with nationals especially if you don’t speak the local language.

I remembered back to one of the very first gatherings I was in with a group of guys from The Upstream Collective and how they recommended a website to us called Meetup. They explained how it worked and spoke of how people in Western Europe were used to meeting people online and making new friendships. I honestly walked away from that meeting thinking, “This is weird. I don’t think I could ever do that kind of thing.”

Well, fast forward over a year later and seeing no good way to meet people in the Western European city I am living in, I decided to give this website thingy a try. I went to the website to look for a group I might be interested in “meeting up” with in my area. There weren’t many that appealed to me personally. If I was going to try something new I wanted it to be something that I enjoyed. I decided to begin a Meetup group around coffee and conversation. I filled out the profile to begin a group and paid the registration fee for starting a group and the next thing I knew I had launched a new Meetup group.

Over the next several weeks people began to register for the coffee and conversation group. First there were two (2) then three (3) people and the next thing I know there are 25 and then 30 people who were interested in meeting and having a talk. Wow! People wanted to get together and meet other people they didn’t necessarily know.

The very first Meetup happened at a local coffee shop on a Sunday morning. I had the opportunity to set the time and the place we would meet to have coffee and talk. Since we wanted to meet with people who may not have heard the Gospel or no a true follower of Christ I chose Sunday morning at 10:30 am as the time for our gathering. We had eight (8) people come together to talk about life, work and to laugh together. Our group was a mix of internationals and nationals talking together in a common language.

We now have over 40 people who are apart of the coffee and conversation Meetup group. We meet together every other week and new people attend each time we gather. There are usually around 8-10 people at each meetup. This has been a good way to meet new people and begin “investing” into the lives of others. I use this time together as a way to meet people and get to know them personally. We do not use this meetup time as a time to “pound” our beliefs. We are open about our worldview, why we live in the city and intentional about building and investing into the relationships. We are trusting the rest to the One who sent us here.

Here’s an understatement…I am really glad I tried something new.

 

 

 

The Power of Influence and Your Voice

June 3, 2011 in Influence, Leadership, Uncategorized with 5 Comments

In a recent Skype conversation with Pat Hood, my pastor and friend, we were discussing the power of influence.  We talked about how voices and messages reach the world we live in today.  The subject of social media came up and how through the avenue of blogs, Twitter, YouTube, Skype and other platforms available to us today, each person has the opportunity to influence hundreds and in many cases thousands of people each day.

As a pastor and leader I have spent a great amount of time studying leadership, influence and principles of communication in the Bible and through popular business books.  We live in a great day  for influencing when we think about all the different ways we have for communicating. Whether it is keeping up with family, selling a product, communicating to company employees or spreading a message of life change we have great potential for influencing others.

The Skype conversation reminded me of another talk Pat and I had several years ago before the rise of the social media frenzy. We were in his office talking about how God had uniquely positioned us to have influence and we were challenged with how we would steward the influence God had given. We talked about how we desired to have wide-spread influence around the world for the glory of God. He and I talked about what would it look like to have an influence on how people walk with Christ daily? How could we, as individuals and as a church, influence others toward living lives sold out for the cause of Christ? What would it look like to have influence around the globe, not just in one local area?

Who would have thought that several years later people from our church would be sent “to the ends of the Earth.” How were any of us able to realize the overwhelming potential of social websites such as Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter? We can be connected around the world and in a moments notice we can know what is happening 12 timezones away. We are be able to communicate in real time to people living in Western Europe and West Africa at the same time through video-conferencing. Stuff like this only happened in movies just a few years ago and now it is an everyday occurrence.

This type of influence is available to all of us right now and at your fingertips as you read this post. The question is how are you stewarding and managing the influence you have been given. I ask each of you to scan your email contacts, your Facebook friends, your Twitter followers and the other social media portals you use each day.  Take notice of where people live that you communicate with through these avenues and think about how what you write and tweet influences those who are reading. Now, look at how many people potentially view your status updates and your tweets. As someone who has spent time studying influence I can assure you if you are talking (posting) you are influencing someone.

On a quick scan of my email contacts, my Facebook friends and Twitter followers I noticed people who reside in Thailand, Brazil, China, Germany, USA, Lithuania, Turkey, India, West Africa and Australia. I am influencing people positively and negatively toward someone or something by what I write and tweet each day and so are you.

What type of influence are you spreading?

Who or what are you influencing people toward?

So how far and wide is your influence reaching?

I promise it is more far reaching than you realize.

 

Getting to Know Neighbors

June 1, 2011 in Influence, missional with 6 Comments

My family has lived in our apartment for five and a half months and in our city for six months.  From the beginning of our time in the city we have been thinking strategically about how to meet our neighbors and get to know them personally. We have utilized public and religious holidays as an opportunity to introduce ourselves with small gifts given to each family.  We have put welcome cards in all the mailboxes introducing ourselves and inviting people to say hello when we see one another in the building. Amy and I have looked for creative opportunities to invite people into our home and lives so we might have the opportunity to have influence.

Each of the things our family has done introduced us to our neighbors and left a favorable impression with them, but no one has accepted our invitations for coffee or meals together. In fact, we have not even seen a few of our neighbors in the five months and half months we have lived in the building. We have been told by others “this is life in the city and especially life in this city.”  All of this changed though yesterday in a matter of hours.

Our building is undergoing major renovations. This scenario has lead to a short term degradation of the outside of the building in the terms of appearances while construction and remodeling  is taking place.  In response to this and some other issues with our building a few of neighbors wanted to have some discussions through email about possible solutions to our common concerns. After a few emails back and forth I offered and invited to open our apartment to everyone (6 families) for a time of talking together face to face. In just a few minutes everyone agreed that we should gather at our apartment to discuss with one another.

Uh-oh, I have language class. I knew Amy could handle hosting the group. Wait a minute, we have looked forward to the day our neighbors would be in our home. This should be an easy decision, but when you are trying to learn a new language every class is essential. We are near the end of the semester and the review is coming soon.  Some of the values I have lived by and taught for several years started flooding my mind like 1) we will value people and 2) we will remain flexible.  Well, I would need to miss class because meeting our neighbors and having them in our home is something that we had been trying to do for a while.

Let me say clearly that planning and thinking through how to get to know our neighbors is very important. But, being ready at a any moment to offer hospitality is best. I am learning new lessons each day in the realm of hospitality. We had a great time of talking and introducing ourselves to one another. Everyone exchanged emails, phone numbers and laughed together throughout our time together. We all said we wanted to get together again for appetizers and a meal.

I am so thankful for a building that is in need of repair, for a church that values people and teaches us to be flexible.

By the way….language class went fine without me. I was able to connect with another friend I have been trying to connect with and he is going to help me.


 

 

Serving with Soccer

May 16, 2011 in church planting, Influence, missional, Sending Church with 0 Comments

This past weekend I had the opportunity to serve a group of refugees who are seeking asylum in Brussels. The boys and I were with a group of students and adults who played football (soccer) in a local park with the asylum seekers and people who were hanging out on the “pitch” at a local park.

I was mostly cheering and laughing with people about the language differences and my inability to play football as good as the locals and refugees. My football skills are severely lacking to say the least. It was good to help those who are in transition to smile and see friendly faces welcoming them to a new country. My family has recently moved, so I know in small way what they might be feeling.

I asked one of the men we were serving with as a volunteer how he got involved in this project. He shared that someone recommended the organization to him and since he liked to serve others he thought he would register. He looked at me intently and said, “I believe everyone is created to serve in community with others.” He went on to explain, quite freely, that he was an agnostic and relied on meditation and service in the community to help him feel like he was making a difference.

My new acquaintance turned the question around and asked me how I found out about the opportunity and why I was serving. I told him I knew the leader of the organization and he had asked me to be involved in the service projects.  We talked about how my family follows Jesus Christ and his teachings from the Bible. I explained that Jesus said, “I came to serve, not to be served.” I went on to explain that serving is a great way for me to show others who I follow and it is a great way to live out Jesus’ example of serving others.  He seemed fine with my answer and we went on through out the day talking, laughing and trying to relate to the refugees.

As I reflected on that conversation I was struck by the thought of this man trying to fill an empty spot in his life with serving and meditation.  Here he was doing good things for others and having an real desire to make a difference in the lives of others, but missing out on the example and life of the greatest servant of all mankind.

The Goens serve because of the love we have for Christ and our desire to show Him to the world through our good deeds, so that others may praise Him (Matt. 5:16). My friend was serving to fill an empty spot that can only be filled by the Great Servant. I was challenged by my partner in service that day, to give of myself more each day to those who are in need and to those who are in plenty.

Who are you serving? Why are you serving?

 

 

Joyeuse Fete De Mere

May 8, 2011 in Family, Influence with 0 Comments

Today we celebrated Amy and her first Mother’s Day in another country. The kids prepared breakfast for her this morning, a croissant, fruit parfait, fruit juice and coffee. They also got her a new carry case for her french books and resources. She has worn out her old one from all the work she is doing to learn a new language. A stunning mom needs a stunning new bag when she steps onto the Metro and into her french class.

Happy Mothers Day Amy.

Transformation India Movement

April 26, 2011 in church planting, Influence, Mission with 0 Comments

This is a ministry that is very near to my heart. I think the world of Biju Thomas and ask you to take a few moments to watch this video about his ministry. I have had the privilege of working with him on 3 or 4 occasions in country.

Since 2005 Transformation India Movement has grown from 10 church planters and 10 churches with around 500 believers, to 28 church planters, 223 pastors/elders, 152 churches, 84 outreach groups and over 7,000 adult believers. Simultaneously, T.I.M. in partnership with North Carolina Baptist Men (and others) have drilled over 700 clean water wells, started around 80 primary schools that educate over 3,000 children who had no access to schools, trained hundreds of women in sewing schools to help provide for their families, provided medical care, disaster relief and in several other ways have served hundreds of communities that previously had no Christian presence/witness.

This is another great example of proclaiming AND demonstrating the reign of God in a very dark place. Many great things happening in Bihar, India… however this Indian state of over 85 million people (size of the state of Tennessee) is still less than 1/2 of one percent Christian. Please pray for and support the work of T.I.M.

[H.T] Sending Church

Joyeuse Paques Picnic

April 25, 2011 in church planting, Influence, missional, Sending Church with Comments Off

In Belgium the season of Easter is called Paques. It is basically a religious holiday for the country, but that doesn’t mean people are going to churches to remember the resurrection of Christ in large numbers. It is very acceptable to give small bags of chocolate Paques (Easter) eggs to your friends in recognition of the celebration. With that in mind, we purchased small bags chocolate eggs to give to our neighbors and friends with a the message of “Joyeuse Paques from the Goens.”

The the families that presently make up LifePoint Church Brussels also meet in a nearby park, after attending a local fellowship in the morning, to celebrate Paques (Easter). All of us invited friends we have been investing in over the past several months to come hang out and enjoy the beautiful day with us. The park was full of people with Frisbees, footballs (soccer balls) and some American footballs. We brought picnic foods to share and waited on our friends to arrive.

One man came and spent the afternoon with us as we talked together, laughed about life and each persons experiences living cross culturally. We talked about how much we enjoyed our new country of residence and what the differences are between our home countries and where we now live.

Toward the end of our picnic we had the opportunity to talk about why we celebrate Easter (Paques) and why it’s  such a special day for our families. We had a wonderful time together with friends talking about the differences in two (2) world religions and how each one holds Jesus as special. I had the opportunity to talk about Jesus’ death, resurrection and the Bible’s importance to our understanding of the gospel.

I am really looking forward tospending more time with my friend. He is planning to taking me to eat with his friends at a local restaurant that serves food from his home culture. He is looking forward to coming to our home for an American meal very soon with our family. He is a wonderful person and we are looking forward to spending more time with him in the coming days.

We experienced a Joyeuse Paques yesterday. I hope you experienced a great Easter where you live.
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